8-19
1. at a huge festival akin to burning man but more cirkusy. about to leave, in the passenger seat of our car. cole is driving and is very drunk but i let him drive anyway. we're in the desert, it doesn't seem like anybody's around, it's daylight, we'll be fine. but a cop goes to pull us over. cole refuses to and continues going 80 miles an hour, dodging cactii and tumbleweed. josh is giggling in the back seat. i am an odd mixture of anxious and resigned. eventually we lose the cop. i'm pregnant and my due date is progressing very fast. (i wonder in this dream whose baby it is....???!)
2. someone casts me in a play. after the news, i go over to a hip house in oly where all of the rest of the cast lives. i'm waiting outside with isaac my cat and my baby. a panda bear is walking down the road and picks up isaac to attack him, but isaac jumps really high to avoid it. -at this point in the dream i have an aerial view- so i'm the sky and i see isaac the cat high above a vicious panda bear- . i attack the bear while isaac's still in the air. the bear passes out, but i know it won't last for long. i go in side and lock the sliding glass door. i pick up the phone (pink) to call 911, one of the housemates is on it, but i explain to them what happened. they let me use it. the operator sounds much too relaxed. i call josh and he says 'oh honey you did such a good job! good job!'
3. i bought a breast pump at grocery outlet and was trying to use it in the store- it was wierd, you inserted tiny knobs that fit into the nipple where milk usually seeps- i expected it to be painful but it wasn't, just wierd.
Monday, August 21, 2006
how soldiers feel
8-16
1. i'm a soldier in a war. (seems like i'm in cambodia) i'm standing on a steep, muddy embankment next to a river. it's hot, muggy, and grey outside. there's just mud everywhere. it's just him and i standing by this slow, massive river. im starting to be hysterical, we're standing about 6 feet apart but i'm yelling at the top of my lungs to speak. a caravan of us soldiers drives by where the river used to be. i'm shouting 'WHAT"S THE POINT!' 'THere's nothing we can do to stop it! pause ' Is war the only fucking way?' i am feeling VERY exasperated, furious, and sure that nothing i do will matter in one bit, that existance...doesn't exist. i lift my gun and shoot at a car in the caravan. i just ding the edge. jessica ritland steps out of the car unharmed. no one in the caravan notices us even though we're in plain sight. he says something like 'yeah this is no fun' later, on our way hime, he says with a lot of enthusiasm that he wants to sail on a sailboat, get a nice house. i can't get the image of the embankment and the fury i felt out of my head. i walk into josh's aunt connie's spilt level house and straight into her arms. she says 'hello, sister' i'm near weeping adn say 'i'm so sorry we have to go through this' and she says 'we're all christians your speaking to' she says 'you just wait till you smell the rosemary chicken i'm cooking, you'll forget all about it'
1. i'm a soldier in a war. (seems like i'm in cambodia) i'm standing on a steep, muddy embankment next to a river. it's hot, muggy, and grey outside. there's just mud everywhere. it's just him and i standing by this slow, massive river. im starting to be hysterical, we're standing about 6 feet apart but i'm yelling at the top of my lungs to speak. a caravan of us soldiers drives by where the river used to be. i'm shouting 'WHAT"S THE POINT!' 'THere's nothing we can do to stop it! pause ' Is war the only fucking way?' i am feeling VERY exasperated, furious, and sure that nothing i do will matter in one bit, that existance...doesn't exist. i lift my gun and shoot at a car in the caravan. i just ding the edge. jessica ritland steps out of the car unharmed. no one in the caravan notices us even though we're in plain sight. he says something like 'yeah this is no fun' later, on our way hime, he says with a lot of enthusiasm that he wants to sail on a sailboat, get a nice house. i can't get the image of the embankment and the fury i felt out of my head. i walk into josh's aunt connie's spilt level house and straight into her arms. she says 'hello, sister' i'm near weeping adn say 'i'm so sorry we have to go through this' and she says 'we're all christians your speaking to' she says 'you just wait till you smell the rosemary chicken i'm cooking, you'll forget all about it'
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
recent (not in the same night though) acid, WEDDINGS, holocaust, flowers
dream from a week ago: it's about 11:30 at night and i know i have to work tomorrow at about 10 but i decide to eat some acid anyway. i end up feeling really high but not seeing much until about an hour into it, then decide to go to bed and can fall asleep right away, and have wierd dreams (dreams within a dream)
lastnight:
1. i'm travelling north to see austin hund marry a girl on a fire escape. it was a wedding by invitation only, the sky is blank white, austin is giggling and holding a girl up in his arms (over the threshold style) i'm feeling good about the whole thing.
2. i come into a situation where many people i know are congregating. i've recently escaped and start telling them that it's not a lie, the holocaust is happening again in a small town outside of washington dc. i tell them i've escaped from there and remember seeing 3 corpses laying in the corner of a room where we were all kept.
3. wildflowers
lastnight:
1. i'm travelling north to see austin hund marry a girl on a fire escape. it was a wedding by invitation only, the sky is blank white, austin is giggling and holding a girl up in his arms (over the threshold style) i'm feeling good about the whole thing.
2. i come into a situation where many people i know are congregating. i've recently escaped and start telling them that it's not a lie, the holocaust is happening again in a small town outside of washington dc. i tell them i've escaped from there and remember seeing 3 corpses laying in the corner of a room where we were all kept.
3. wildflowers
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