1. in a crowded house party in palestine. i've been here for days and so has the party. i'm on a balcony greeting people (screening people.) there's a high level of flirtation happening with one of the guys who's been at this party, and maybe someone who i used to date. in either case, it makes me proud when victoria shows the film she's taken. it's a music video where i'm one of the actors and happen to look really nice. it looks like something out of the 1930s and i'm in flowing attire in rose petals. also very close to another woman. i remember shooting the film and remember how rewarding and saucy it is.
2. with some rough kids. they take me out of the party. the guy is walking through all of these alleys trying to find his stash, he's so nonchalant. he dips to grab something from inbetween two peices of cement on the wall and keeps walking. we're walking with another man too. we don't see any guards but i kind of feel like we could get shot or caught at any moment for no reason at all. we get to a big huge pile of rubble and hang out there where he has handed me a little popper type thing to take. he starts shooting up. watching him do it, i hesitate.
3. hanging out with jon pon?
dec. 3 07
Monday, December 03, 2007
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
erin's job, ghost identity, house 8 leggeds
1. erin says the night before 'remember that you're doing camp tomorrow!' i am filling in for her job at the hands on children museum, but tbe shift is occuring in my room. i start getting nervous about whether or not the kids will come accross anything adult in nature, but when they do, we explain it to them clearly and level headedly. they seem nonplussed about subjects like condoms and sex. it turns out i'm not as bad with kids as i thought, they seem to like all the projects i'm doing.
2. camp is over. i'm running from a recurrent ghost- one that 's been in dreams before. the ghost is so terrifying, anytime you think of anything you might need, he leaves it outside the door and knocks on the door. everything comes with a little note, but i never ever read what it says. one of the notes would tell who exactly this ghost was, i just know it, but it's in code, and i'm too scared to really read it. i'm running around like a mad woman. there's a blueberry bush with blueberries that are huge and fat and almost too ripe to pick but i start picking them. i'm with josh and we keep fading from being my mom and dad to being him and i while we're in my grandma's apartment. right before i wake up i realize that the ghost just needs to be thanked for all the hard work its done in its life to serve others so that it can go on. i wake up breathing heavy despite how benevelent the conclusion is!
3. my landlord comes over and i walk him through all the stuff he still hasn't done. kindly. we go underneath the house- but really it's not underneath it's like between the walls. it's cool to be back there. we finally are kind of on the same page about things. he leaves, a bunch of girls ages 11-20 are hanging out with me in this weird spot. like a theatre stage backlit, the girls all at different levels sitting crosslegged or laying on their stomachs like a scene from an after school tv program. from where i'm sitting i can see all the spiders that live here- THERE ARE A LOT! like probably 8 or 9 3 inch spiders dipping in and out of crater like holes in the ceiling. one starts to crawl on my leg and i wince while i'm giving my lecture but one of the younger girls just notifies me and i let it keep going. it was really fast and walks away. on my palm there is a jelly fish eating an octopus. i watch their bodies change from phsychedelic pattern to phsychedelic pattern.
2. camp is over. i'm running from a recurrent ghost- one that 's been in dreams before. the ghost is so terrifying, anytime you think of anything you might need, he leaves it outside the door and knocks on the door. everything comes with a little note, but i never ever read what it says. one of the notes would tell who exactly this ghost was, i just know it, but it's in code, and i'm too scared to really read it. i'm running around like a mad woman. there's a blueberry bush with blueberries that are huge and fat and almost too ripe to pick but i start picking them. i'm with josh and we keep fading from being my mom and dad to being him and i while we're in my grandma's apartment. right before i wake up i realize that the ghost just needs to be thanked for all the hard work its done in its life to serve others so that it can go on. i wake up breathing heavy despite how benevelent the conclusion is!
3. my landlord comes over and i walk him through all the stuff he still hasn't done. kindly. we go underneath the house- but really it's not underneath it's like between the walls. it's cool to be back there. we finally are kind of on the same page about things. he leaves, a bunch of girls ages 11-20 are hanging out with me in this weird spot. like a theatre stage backlit, the girls all at different levels sitting crosslegged or laying on their stomachs like a scene from an after school tv program. from where i'm sitting i can see all the spiders that live here- THERE ARE A LOT! like probably 8 or 9 3 inch spiders dipping in and out of crater like holes in the ceiling. one starts to crawl on my leg and i wince while i'm giving my lecture but one of the younger girls just notifies me and i let it keep going. it was really fast and walks away. on my palm there is a jelly fish eating an octopus. i watch their bodies change from phsychedelic pattern to phsychedelic pattern.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
sigh
1. i invite him to a movie. the theatre has odd funhouse workings, with a lot of wierd small plywood enclosed spaces. i encourage him to get into one and kind of try to kiss him. he's miffed. we go back into the theatre and are watching previews for the next movie (is it a double feature?) it's about crazy rave punks in the 80's. the credits roll. i'm trying to get change back into my pocket without making any noise.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
river anger, lake box, church music
august 12 07
1. swimming by a river with my dad and two of my friends. a construction crew shows up to blockade one part of the river. it's a very fertile part of the river, there are fish and crawdads everywhere. a construction crew shows up and they don't even warn us, they just start throwing these huge machines into the water. me and my dad are like 'oh shit we better get to the edge, i don't know what these things do, they might even be using dynamite...!' so we get to the edge and then i ask one of the construction workers what they're doing. he says 'well, we gotta make sure no one is trying to use this part of the river as a food source because the fishing company is seeing low revenues this quarter.' i start yelling at him hysterically and pulling my hair out, latching on to him and essentially freaking him the fuck out. 'i need to study this for school though, this is the last place left to study the mating of my species of fish...' liz trails off....
2. it's getting cold but we're still at the lake. we've brought lunch pales for the kids (hot pink) but i've been being ultra boisterous and not cautious and now that everyone's dressed and ready we see the pales out in the middle of the lake past the swimming area rope.
3. i go home and start listening through all of my parents cds. i realize my mom and i have more similar taste in music than i thought. she tells me about her friend in church who is singing on one of the tracks we listen to. her story tells about how they were singing in the choir and my mom's friend someone to join- the friend was somewhat of a hippie er whatever, in grey baggy clothes. (this was the 60's...) and the friend like freaked out in the middle of church, kissed the woman on the lips, with tongue, who brought her, and caused a commotion. the woman turned out to leave the church and my mom hadn't talked to her since.
1. swimming by a river with my dad and two of my friends. a construction crew shows up to blockade one part of the river. it's a very fertile part of the river, there are fish and crawdads everywhere. a construction crew shows up and they don't even warn us, they just start throwing these huge machines into the water. me and my dad are like 'oh shit we better get to the edge, i don't know what these things do, they might even be using dynamite...!' so we get to the edge and then i ask one of the construction workers what they're doing. he says 'well, we gotta make sure no one is trying to use this part of the river as a food source because the fishing company is seeing low revenues this quarter.' i start yelling at him hysterically and pulling my hair out, latching on to him and essentially freaking him the fuck out. 'i need to study this for school though, this is the last place left to study the mating of my species of fish...' liz trails off....
2. it's getting cold but we're still at the lake. we've brought lunch pales for the kids (hot pink) but i've been being ultra boisterous and not cautious and now that everyone's dressed and ready we see the pales out in the middle of the lake past the swimming area rope.
3. i go home and start listening through all of my parents cds. i realize my mom and i have more similar taste in music than i thought. she tells me about her friend in church who is singing on one of the tracks we listen to. her story tells about how they were singing in the choir and my mom's friend someone to join- the friend was somewhat of a hippie er whatever, in grey baggy clothes. (this was the 60's...) and the friend like freaked out in the middle of church, kissed the woman on the lips, with tongue, who brought her, and caused a commotion. the woman turned out to leave the church and my mom hadn't talked to her since.
Friday, July 20, 2007
queen, sugar, visiting
1. Staying over at the Queen's mansion. She is having an estate sale where jewelry and other expensive items are laid out on lighted glass shelving with no covers over them. some riff-raff come in and openly steal some items. me and my big burly friend run after them for a couple blocks and the townspeople and i reduce them to laying on the ground except for the one with the jewels. he gets away.1b. everyone is finally gone and i fill up the Queen's sugar bowl and put it back on her table as she sleeps.2. We go to see my friend finally. She can't leave her house. Her husband and she have separate beds in the same room.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
kissing, joseph talk
7-5-07
1a. i move into a house with five women who are rumoured to be generous with physical affection. i've only seen one around town. one day when i'm at home, the one i recognize from town attempts to give me a kiss. but i'm totally taken off guard, i was reading a newspaper or carrying a lot of things at the time. she's very sassy and somehow i have the impression that it was rude of me to not kiss her. (but i do want to kiss her.) the next day i'm in the kitchen again and eating dinner, something like meatloaf, something with meat, savory. she tries to kiss me with my mouth full and i still feel apologetic about it. she just walks away. finally i try to kiss her as we are standing in a doorway, but she dodges it. she acts even MORE sassy and is like 'you snooze you lose.'
1b. so i'm kind of distraught about this, confused and exasperated. i go over to see joseph and tell him about this series of events. he's very empathetic even though all he says is 'oh ariel. ' like he does.
2. we sit on a very high up bed, like a bunk bed or loft in a dim room and we have long talks about whether or not we can kiss.
1a. i move into a house with five women who are rumoured to be generous with physical affection. i've only seen one around town. one day when i'm at home, the one i recognize from town attempts to give me a kiss. but i'm totally taken off guard, i was reading a newspaper or carrying a lot of things at the time. she's very sassy and somehow i have the impression that it was rude of me to not kiss her. (but i do want to kiss her.) the next day i'm in the kitchen again and eating dinner, something like meatloaf, something with meat, savory. she tries to kiss me with my mouth full and i still feel apologetic about it. she just walks away. finally i try to kiss her as we are standing in a doorway, but she dodges it. she acts even MORE sassy and is like 'you snooze you lose.'
1b. so i'm kind of distraught about this, confused and exasperated. i go over to see joseph and tell him about this series of events. he's very empathetic even though all he says is 'oh ariel. ' like he does.
2. we sit on a very high up bed, like a bunk bed or loft in a dim room and we have long talks about whether or not we can kiss.
tropical fish
this dream was dreamt a long time ago but it's so funny ... probably dreamt it in march of 2006.
I'm visiting Hawaii and come accross a For Rent sign on a shady street. I decide to move in. I meet with the girl who's putting the room up for rent. we walk up the stair and stand talking in a blue room with blue floral wallpaper and two twin beds with blue bedspreads. one wall looks like it's made of blue floral curtains. She tells me "well, the owner of this house was an old woman and she has recently passed away. nothing's quite figured out as far as finances, but no one really knew of her to be honest, so there's not really any paperwork to do. the rent is free." we walk towards the curtains and open one up and there's windows leading into another room. "This is the room you'd have." it has 5 sides, shaped kind of like a bay window, with pink walls and gauzy curtains. there are windows looking out all around. it didn't - but should have- smelled like a nail salon. there are also mirrors where there aren't windows and vanity-desks set up all around. there's one double sized bed with orange and pink floral designs. she says 'ok, well, i'm going to let you explore this room. just let me know if you need anything or have any questions.' i kind of walk around, the carpet is salmon colored. it's kind of a wierd room but i'm into it. i kind of stand near the northwest corner of the room, looking at a vanity drawer and then i feel something slip out of me. then i feel more things slip out of me. i look down and small fish, like 2 inches by 1 inch tropical fish are coming out from between my legs. there are a lot of them, they keep coming, steadily. i think 'i have to call the hospital! i have to go to the emergency room!' but then i think 'they aren't going to know what the hell to do with a girl who's got tropical fish coming out of her!' then i think 'why aren't they swimming? or dying? or wiggling or something?' i realize that they're sleeping.
I'm visiting Hawaii and come accross a For Rent sign on a shady street. I decide to move in. I meet with the girl who's putting the room up for rent. we walk up the stair and stand talking in a blue room with blue floral wallpaper and two twin beds with blue bedspreads. one wall looks like it's made of blue floral curtains. She tells me "well, the owner of this house was an old woman and she has recently passed away. nothing's quite figured out as far as finances, but no one really knew of her to be honest, so there's not really any paperwork to do. the rent is free." we walk towards the curtains and open one up and there's windows leading into another room. "This is the room you'd have." it has 5 sides, shaped kind of like a bay window, with pink walls and gauzy curtains. there are windows looking out all around. it didn't - but should have- smelled like a nail salon. there are also mirrors where there aren't windows and vanity-desks set up all around. there's one double sized bed with orange and pink floral designs. she says 'ok, well, i'm going to let you explore this room. just let me know if you need anything or have any questions.' i kind of walk around, the carpet is salmon colored. it's kind of a wierd room but i'm into it. i kind of stand near the northwest corner of the room, looking at a vanity drawer and then i feel something slip out of me. then i feel more things slip out of me. i look down and small fish, like 2 inches by 1 inch tropical fish are coming out from between my legs. there are a lot of them, they keep coming, steadily. i think 'i have to call the hospital! i have to go to the emergency room!' but then i think 'they aren't going to know what the hell to do with a girl who's got tropical fish coming out of her!' then i think 'why aren't they swimming? or dying? or wiggling or something?' i realize that they're sleeping.
froth, shakespeare does these love things, grandma
7-9-07
1. taking my temperature in the morning like i normally do for fertility charting. it's pretty high, not out of the ordinary though. i go into the bathroom and my womb is excreting froth. (!) like, a lot of froth.
2. i'm in a social situation, maybe in a cabin, it's far away from my house. we're all (probably 10 or 12 of us) mingling, i hit on my crush in a tentative kind of way...at the end of the night he goes home with jamie, i find out that they have been having a torrid love affair for the past few days. it seems to make sense. i'm caught between feeling proud of and happy for jamie and jealous for my crush. i decide to get over it and do.
3. riding in my roommates' boyfriends car on the way home. it's a white sportscar, we're taking back the leftovers, glass pans with tinfoil on top in cardboard boxes. i'm telling him about a dream i had where he and i were dating. he's into it and kind of starts leaning in even closer to me as we talk. i'm excited by the power of the situation but i'm not interested in him at all.
4. my grandma tells me to straighten my sweater.
1. taking my temperature in the morning like i normally do for fertility charting. it's pretty high, not out of the ordinary though. i go into the bathroom and my womb is excreting froth. (!) like, a lot of froth.
2. i'm in a social situation, maybe in a cabin, it's far away from my house. we're all (probably 10 or 12 of us) mingling, i hit on my crush in a tentative kind of way...at the end of the night he goes home with jamie, i find out that they have been having a torrid love affair for the past few days. it seems to make sense. i'm caught between feeling proud of and happy for jamie and jealous for my crush. i decide to get over it and do.
3. riding in my roommates' boyfriends car on the way home. it's a white sportscar, we're taking back the leftovers, glass pans with tinfoil on top in cardboard boxes. i'm telling him about a dream i had where he and i were dating. he's into it and kind of starts leaning in even closer to me as we talk. i'm excited by the power of the situation but i'm not interested in him at all.
4. my grandma tells me to straighten my sweater.
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