1. Underwater motorcycles 2. Breaking in to friendship 3. K's backstory as an amateur opera singer 4. Weird production with characters from Lord of the Rings, Batman, Who Killed Roger Rabbit, A Midsummer Night's Dream, & weird stagecraft

1. Swimming through Olympia with my dad on motorcycles.

2. I wake up and immediately go for a walk. It's sunny, the grass is dry and ochre, I'm headed through tracts of land, there are not sidewalks. I am following a little grey cat who disappears. When I get to a backyard, I can't see any way around it, so I keep walking through it until I reach the house which is fenced on either side...the only way to get beyond the house is to go through it.
There are plates with half-eaten food on them. I didn't think anyone would be home but there definitely is someone home. It's too late for me to choose not to risk it, I'm in the house. A brunette woman comes out of a hallway to see me traipsing through her living room. I briefly explain myself and she seems upset. But somehow we make amends and by the time I leave we are old friends.

3. Going to see a dress rehearsal at the Seattle Opera with the opera gang from Evergreen. K is a singer and during the opera I watch her so intently engaged that the dream dissolves into her backstory. We're at a crime scene, the police are here, and a camera crew. K's parents are being interviewed. The mother, a heavy-set southerner says "Ever since she was a little girl, we knew that she wanted to be singing."The dad interjects, a wiry, leathery man: "Once she said 'Daddy, I don't need to go to the opera'" But we knew better! I just laughed!" I'm watching my feet move through tall grass. The camera crew and the police are going to a house in Olympia where Kate used to live. We're talking to the current woman who lives there. She says K was one intense roommate as the leaseholder. There are a lot of trendy but functional items in the home and a box of records. When I look at the records, which has homemade subject dividers covered in lace, construction paper and "self" laminated with packing tape, I understand that K and I have lived in Olympia for the same amount of time.
The mother comes in the door and says "Nineteen. They just found nineteen shot guns. Why did she have to go buy another one?"

4. The opera gang heads into a a seminar room at evergreen afterwards. We're passing out scripts. I'm Bottom, who is really Bilbo baggins, as well as Bottom, who is Bottom. That was a flashaback. The show is tonight. From the audience I see the stage, this is a weird show! It starts with Bilbo Baggins and a wizard, then goes to the Joker and a kind of Jessica Rabbit number. The Joker character is to the side of the stage with his head in an aluminum box. He is speaking, but every few seconds he pulls a sheet of aluminum quickly across the box with a tab at the bottom to mimic cameras flashing. When flash has happened, he has a new expression on his face. He's incarcerated. I go on stage and say my first few lines which are about being hesitant about something. I look at the rest of the script. I'm not sure I can memorize this all within a few minutes.

1. Bus Cliff, 2.Dressing Room, 4. LAX Mushrooms

1. Bus Cliff
I'm with C and we're on the bus going down Division. The area where there is a farm on one side is actually hundreds of feet of elevation below the road of Division, so there's a cliff edge there. Well, that's one explanation. The other is that the bus has a cliff face on its underside and that's the one I think really was happening in the dream. Anyway, the bus makes a wild turn, but the door is open- it was a warm day. A man slides out the door of the bus and so do I, C tries to grab me but fails. I fall out, attempting to grasp onto something. I see the man hit, firmly, and like he was already dead, a little horizontal platformish creation of the cliff. But I'm able to grab onto something, a very small bit of cliff that is a perfect handle. But I hear someone say that it's going to take twenty minutes to get me rescued. I don't know if I can make it twenty minutes. I know there is a lot of efforting going on at this point for me to be rescued...and then when I am safe I answer questions for the news. "How did you think to grab something?" - "I just thought to myself as I was falling: There is something to hold onto." "But had you ever seen this before? This is really one of the only things available to hold!" "No, I hadn't seen it before, but I knew I just had to hold onto something."

2. Dressing Room
I'm taking a long shower in really deluxe accommodations. Three sides of the shower are glass, one is tan marble, the floor is tan marble, the towels are sage green, its' normal to the people who live there. The Dad comes by to let me know something I don't remember now. When I get out of the shower its a locker room, three girls from school are standing there fully dressed and one is like "Do you KNOW people in LA?" The other says "Well yes, that's the only way you get anywhere. I've worked with a lot of people. The way you do it- you and me, say, we'd go into the studio and they'd recognize me or not, but I'd say 'Don't I look like a lot of fun?' And ta da!"  She has huge eyelashes.

3. LAX Mushrooms, Bugs for ghosts
I get to my parents' house and ask where Isaac (my cat who died in waking life) is. She says 'Oh he's alright but I don't know if you want to see him. He's in the cat door. He got into some fungus. I realize that my roommate was hiding a bag in there that said "LAX mushrooms" on it. I feel so guilty even though it wasn't my fault. I go to the cat door and get him unstuck. He's fine- not purring, but fine, and he's been shaved so the white of his  undercoat is showing. However, he has really strange flat bugs crawling all over him. I try to catch them but they won't be caught. They don't get onto me, only him.

Performance art propaganda at the Assembly of God church

I had been making a big pot of stewed meat for the luncheon in the massive kitchen at the church. I was not a congregate, though. I was something of an insurgent. I came in alone, but then several of my friends showed up with me. We stayed in the kitchen and the lobby. I was there because I had been selling copies of Gentle in Carnations (IRL poetry book skirting issues around sex.) In one of the back rooms, I had even done a performance of the works- but they were musical/dance reinterpretations of the poems rather than the poems themselves. The points in the book were still made, causing the audience to slowly leave the room one by one. Earlier, I had put copies of Gentle in Carnations in many of the church pews. Now, I peeked in to see the congregation in the sanctuary- it was packed with people who were in the full swing of a "holy-spirit" filled church service: hands in the air, eyes closed, mouths murmuring prayers, and a sermon that spoke clearly of shame and its importance for keeping one holy. I spotted one of the copies of GiC and was wrought: this was a bold move to put that with the hymnals! And even more so that I even took the name of the hymnal publisher and put it on my copies of the poem book! Right on the cover! Bigger than the title of the book, even. Why did I do that?! And isn't that illegal? I snuck back into the kitchen as the service let out. A large, somewhat shy man came up to me and said that he really liked my book. A woman from work joined us, gave me a hug, but completely avoided the issue of what was in the book. I gathered my things while the man was still talking to me and said cheekily "one last thing!" and grabbed a few bits of meat from the bowl of meat I had set on an armchair. The man said that he hoped that I'd keep in contact with the church with the work I was doing. He kept saying he liked it, but I didn't understand how he could both like that book and like the church he was going to.

1. Grape arbor make out 2. Jon Pon's new career 3. Art as understanding, the artist as a coward

1. He stops over, out of his way just to lay beside me and hold me in his arms for a few hours. My bed is under a grape arbor. Early nineties slow jams are playing as the soundtrack to an animatied movie that gives blue flickers to the otherwise warmly lit room by projecting on the walls. We have to stand up to reach the grapes, bright green big ones. J comes in and says that he’s been lasso-ing them with a metal wire and pulling them down. Then J says to me, pulling me aside “Are you sure you want to be kissing him?” - This is because man who has me in his arms is dating my friend in waking life. I don’t answer. It's just such a warm and loving moment that happens to be rare and stable enough to both confine itself to that single moment and last forever because it is so absolutely loving that it seems very weird to think of "fidelity" as anything but the end of happiness.
2. Jon Pon is married and has been funding his life by panning and digging for gold for the past 7 months. He’s got a baby on the way. I’m watching him get ready for his next big trip and looking at samples he brought and the shiny gold tears in the soft and dry rocky clods. 
3. At C’s art opening: an installation piece with a laser point that randomized briefly and then settled on a fixed point inside a box that no one could see. It made me extremely angry. I was so furious. I started walking to the bar, and he came up beside me and asked me to go for a walk. We went for a drive instead, up a mountain. We got out at a waterfall. I was thinking about chocolate milk in cartons. I was still so mad at him and finally I said “You knew all along about uncertainty. Your piece is all about uncertainty! When you make art like this, I just know you get it, you get that commitment isn't about the end of uncertainty, and it makes me so mad that you couldn’t ‘get’ me!!!” There was a tour guide that was trying to get us into the fold. I wanted to cry, and I also wanted to kiss him. He looked exasperated and sad. I wanted to be comforted, but he had no idea. 

1. Chess with mother 2. Funny Doctor 3. Artistic merits of amateur work

1. Playing chess with my mother, she effortlessly beats me three times in a row each time within only a few minutes. One time, she checkmates me with the knight! How do you checkmate with the knight?!

2. Getting a Pelvic exam from J O’J- there is a chart behind him that suggests that I am dangerously dehydrated. In his characteristic way, he both chastises me for this and makes it a fun experience. 

3. At a resort with Ms. Carley, a vocal teacher I met at a camp last year. She had let me borrow her journal to make some drawings. I drew many conceptual things- including an idea for a sculpture: “the foot” “the step” and two others. When I gave her journal back to her in the dining room of the resort, she asked my artistic opinion. As if I was her art teacher, or a critic, I had already written in responses to her drawings. We had both been reading a book that mentioned feasts, and I told her that all she needed to do to her drawing fo a feast table was to choose a focal point or a shape of focal points, highlight those objects, and take a fine dark pen to the shadow sides of the the many fruits and bowls etc. to define their shadows- and the shadow side only. She had just taken a shower and was drying her hair.